Fat people dating service
And it means that those not attracted to them are very rarely shy about expressing as much via "no fatties allowed" disclaimers on their OKCupid or Tinder profiles. A lot of the discomfort around the app also seems to stem from its use of terms like BBW.As Thorpe told ASOS in the same interview, "Personally, I am also not a fan of the term BBW — it makes me feel like I am a fetish purely for men and I’m not comfortable with that." Her thoughts on "BBW" aren't uncommon, and they're certainly understandable and valid.It depicts fat women as being unaware of, if not entire disbelieving of, their physical attraction, while depicting men as coming in to save the day and teach them otherwise. Most fat people are told their "hotness" is 100 percent impossible. Regarding the app's emphasis on plus size women, Li tells me via email, "Woo Plus aims to provide a comfortable dating platform for all plus size singles and their admirers.Plus, during interviews, creators Neil Raman and Michelle Li have suggested that Woo Plus is predominantly meant to help women, rather than all plus size individuals as the app's "about page" claims. However, plus size women tend to be more the focus of cruelty and body shaming as opposed to their male counterparts." While there's no stat to back that up, the inherent marginalization of women in our society is sort of evidence enough.If we don't want to be treated differently, why do we have to use different terms, or different dating sites? I personally don't think that the folks at Woo Plus believe "falling in love with someone above a size 18 [is] unusual." If that were the case, they'd be setting themselves up for failure.But I do think that much of the rest of the world does.Dating a plus size person is hard because being a plus size person is hard.Size discrimination runs rampant, and it affects everything from healthcare to employment to media to the size of seats on public transportation to the self esteem of individuals.
But if anything ever happened, I'd want to be with another someone who actually loves my body. This isn't to be confused with "someone who loves me for my body," and only that.There are no apps for girls under a certain weight, so creating something for bigger girls is basically segregating them from the norm. "SLi NK Magazine Editor Rivkie Baum told Huffington Post that Woo Plus' approach was "animalistic," adding, "I can’t help feeling that continuing to make bigger bodies into a fetish by segregating them continues to make falling in love with someone above a size 18 seem unusual."I understand every single one of their points, and for the most part, I agree wholeheartedly.Some of Woo Plus' advertising is questionable, at best — the ad that Black highlighted in her tweet being a prime example. Could they have gone about these things far, far better? But is the actual woman's feeling in the aforementioned ad unrealistic? Because when, in this world, are fat women (and fat men, in all honesty) taught that they are just as sexually desirable as their thinner or toned counterparts?I think the reason I — and many fat women I know — have encountered a plethora of dudes ashamed of admitting their attraction to us is because they don't believe they are allowed to do so without being ridiculed.
I think it's why some will describe dating as a plus size woman to be "more of an exercise in patience and frustration than it is one in romance." Li tells me, "Large people have the same needs and desires for positive attention and love [as] thin people," but to a lot of people, that doesn't seem obvious yet.
A couple of years ago, I decided I'd never date anyone else who was interested in me "despite" or "regardless of" my body.